Somewhere between learning to drive my baby-blue 1965 Mustang and secretly crushing on girls while still firmly planted in the closet, I fell hopelessly in love with Stevie Nicks. That Mustang had a 22-year-old stereo that somehow still worked. The speakers crackled more than they played, but they blasted music that could heal my fragile,…
From Friendship to Revolution: A St. Louis Lesbian Love Story
The other day, as I drove down Manchester Road toward Maplewood, I remembered there was a partially queer-owned coffee shop called The Living Room. I made a mental note to stop in and support them. I love how, these days, my straight friends are often the ones telling me about queer-owned businesses. It…
Butch on the Streets: Let’s Talk About Coffee and Healing
I often look back on my younger lesbian days and think about the spaces we so desperately needed — places for sober living, genuine connection and simple relaxation. Spaces where there was no pressure to perform or be anything other than your authentic self. When I reflect on those times, one place immediately comes to…
Butch in the Streets: The Rescue Within
I’ve spent most of my adult life networking and fundraising for Missouri’s homeless, neglected, abused, and sick pets. I’ve always been good at fundraising—and even better at finding homes for the most challenging dogs. Over the years, I helped start several rescues and emergency medical nonprofits that continue to save lives today. Working with pets…
Butch in the Streets: How Did It Take Me So Long to Discover Lesbian-Owned Platypus?
It’s always been a big dream of mine to connect people. So when I came out of a relationship last year and realized I didn’t have a strong lesbian community, I decided to change that. I took over a 500-member Facebook page called Lou Ladies—founded by the wonderful Mel Nelson—and transformed it into a…
Butch in the Streets: A South Grand Lesbian Story
When I was pretending to be straight in my early twenties, I met one of the most incredible women in South City. Her name was Bay Tran. Bay’s family came to St. Louis from Vietnam. Fast forward to the streets of South Grand in the early 2000s—I reunited with the one and only Bay, one…
Butch in the Streets: Leave That Man and Come Out
Trigger Warning: This column discusses suicide, homophobia, addiction, and trauma. Please take care while reading. As I cross over the Kingshighway viaduct—what we all just call “the bridge”—heading toward the south side, I start to think. This drive always freakin’ triggers me. The older I get, the more I understand how deeply those triggers…
Our Lesbian Bars, Our History, Our Future
As a 55-year-old lesbian, I often look back on my twenties and the “safe” spaces we created for ourselves—spaces that became our family. Coming out of the closet (as we called it back then) meant you’d better know how to survive and how to find your people. I came out at a time when it…