By Eron Vito Mazza
“I’ve had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you’re carrying a grudge, they’re out dancing.” -Buddy Hackett
Ah, forgiveness. We hear that we should do it, but more often than not, we don’t want to. We have been wronged, violated, even! We deserve to be upset! Wouldn’t it be easy to stay angry for the rest of your life? The tough answer is no.
It has been shown that letting things go isn’t just good for your soul, it also benefits your heart, brain, and other organs, and it even helps your credit score! (Well, maybe not that last one).
Let’s ask a question: What is forgiveness? For most people, it could feel like you’re letting the person who wronged you off the hook, but what if it’s about taking back the power that person took from you? What if forgiveness sets you free?
Courtesy of Eron Vito Mazza.
Forgiveness is tough, but at the same time it can be worth it. The benefits are twofold: It can benefit your health and your peace of mind. When you give someone forgiveness, you get closer to inner peace, quieting that voice of bitterness that comes with holding onto a grudge. There is a reason that every major religion has forgiveness as one of its major pillars (if they practice it is a whole different story entirely!). See? Even the gods know that holding on to wrongs can be exhausting!
Forgiveness just raises your vibes in general. It will help make it easier to connect with folks or be just an enjoyable person. Nothing kills a mood faster than rehashing old bitterness. You’ll also have more room for what you enjoy once you move past a grudge. You’ll have room for more creativity, love, and that whole inner peace thing I was talking about earlier.
Many other spiritual traditions teach that hanging onto grudges keep you trapped in negative cycles (so, unless you want to come back as a grumpy goose, maybe let that beef go!). You’ll find yourself looking for fault in every situation and relationship. Jealousy also tends to sprout up around unforgiveness. You’ll be mad at people for succeeding and hitting goals (I used to be one of them!). Grudges will keep you from finding success and happiness in your own ventures.
Studies have shown letting go of grudges has been proven to lower cortisol levels in the blood (the stress hormone) which can help with being able to age gracefully and also result in a significant drop in rage texting. Holding onto anger is like drinking expired milk—it doesn’t punish the other person, it just makes you feel terrible.
Forgiving people lowers blood pressure, which means less risk of a heart attack when you see that one person out in public. Forgiveness has also been shown to extend the lifespan. Who would’ve thought that hanging onto a grudge would kill you slowly? And the best part about letting things go, is that it just makes you a more pleasant person in general.
So I’m sure you’re asking at this point,“Eron, what can I do to not hang onto a situation whenever it makes me really upset?” One of the things you can do is try and gain a different perspective, like maybe they were having a bad day or maybe it may be helpful to just see that person in that situation for who they truly are, forgive them and never put yourself in the situation again where you have to be around them. Or there’s my personal favorite, realizing that the people who wronged you are dealing with this crazy world just like you. Does that mean that what they did was right? Absolutely not. From now on, we should think of forgiveness more like taking out the trash for our brains, and less that we are letting somebody get away with something.
Eron Vito Mazza is the author of The Living Lenormand, and is the host of the podcast The Witching hour with Eron Mazza.
