I recently made a quick trip from Minnesota to my gaeytin to visit friends and see a musical. Where is my gaeytin you ask? St. Louis and thus it is fitting that I drop the word gaeytin here.
While sipping coffee at my favorite queer coffeehouse, I picked up a copy of Out In STL. How refreshing to read about our community here in my gaeytin. Fashion and ballroom? Summer and Fall Pride events? Familiar faces such as Dieta Pepsi and a Sister of Perpetual Indulgence? Yes, yes, and yes please!
I lived in St. Louis 20 plus years before moving out of state. Starting anew I found myself struggling to adequately describe what STL means to me. When asked, “Where are you from?” I’d say where I was born and raised but that I, uh, I … “gay grew up” in St. Louis? No, that wasn’t right. Hmm, how could I describe this? I couldn’t find the right word so I penned one:
gaeytin (“gay-tin”)
noun /ˈɡeɪ.tɑːn/
Definition: “A city, town, or other place influential to an LGBTQ+ person coming out and authentically living life with the support of community. This often is not one’s hometown but is on par with a birth place.”
Now I can say, “Well my hometown is (name here), but my gaeytin is St. Louis.” When I explained gaeytin to a younger colleague, she replied,
“I guess my gaeytin was online.”
In penning this word, I sought a stand alone spelling; I didn’t want it to be fodder for haters online. I wanted a unique word, one which if unknown, might cause a curious reader to search for its definition.
I sought a word that had little to no attachment to any existing words or names. After exploring 35+ spellings, I landed on “gaeytin.”
Language is dynamic. Maybe gaeytin will be used for a period of time before it morphs, fades, or disappears. Perhaps it will be picked up by non-native English speakers or take on regional influences. My wish? That gaeytin will “take.” I want our community to own this word in and of itself. Please use and share it so that it becomes a bona fide new word.
Laurie Kilfoy
Expat of my beloved STL
