Upon entering the sliding doors at my home-away-from-home, you’ll first notice the smell. The vetting process, when you’re verbally given directions to this clandestine spot and finally understand where you’re going, probably already filled you with apprehension and anticipation, and those feelings return now as you realize you’re breathing in the acrid air of your ancestors.
You know you’re not on the right floor, but you don’t dare try to operate the ancient elevator, with its levers and contraptions you’ve only ever seen in black-and-white movies. So instead, you take the stairs, which were clearly built for smaller people from a different time. You feel claustrophobic as you make your way up them, carefully watching your feet as they navigate each abnormally distanced step.
“Where are we going exactly, and how unsafe am I?” you think. Something all queer Americans are wondering right now, but for you, that question is much more tangible as a masked and robed woman leads you down winding halls that you’ll never be able to find your way out of without help.
The speakeasy is an underground sapphic space where lesbian porn plays on the walls. | BRADEN MCMAKIN
You pass room after room, wondering what’s going on behind those doors. Finally, you’re brought before a door adorned with welcoming colors, and you know queer people are in there.
A warm cinnamon-cake candle welcomes you into the small space. There’s vintage lesbian porn being projected on a wall, and Sylvester’s “I Need Somebody to Love Tonight” is playing on a sound system.
You are in a lesbian speakeasy and dungeon. You are filled with excitement and confusion but also completely disoriented. Here, you can have a beer or glass of wine with like-minded folks, even set your glass down and look away, not having to worry about someone trying to spike your drink. Clothing is optional, though most will choose to stay clothed and get into deep conversations at the bar.
It was next to impossible to open up and sustain spaces for LGBTQ people before these fascist Republicans started their latest attacks on us. It stands to reason that given the current climate our community would have underground and illegal watering holes and salons.
Be gay, do crimes and have a good time while you do it. | BRADEN MCMAKIN
And while it may seem immature to some to hold space for after-hours activities away from the prying eyes of Uncle Sam, I’m grateful for the folks who are risking much to hold and keep these spaces secret and sacred. It will be in these dark rooms that multigenerational activists will make plans to get abortion pills across the border to Americans in trouble. It will be in these hallways where T and HRT will swap palms, eventually saving the lives of trans folks. It will be in these heavily vetted shared spaces where the new “Jane” groups will connect pregnant people with doctors willing to perform once-and-now-again illegal abortions to save their lives. And it will be in my home-away-from-home where information on how to have safe queer sex, support sex workers and find health care for our community will be learned and shared.
It will not be our fault if our identities are suddenly deemed illicit by the state. But let’s have a little bit of fun with it if they are. I cannot think of a better way to fight the rise of fascism than selling untaxed booze to queer folks congregating in shared spaces to make merry and plan treason.
After all, our descent into fascism doesn’t have to be so god damned basic.
Be gay, do crimes and have a good time while you do it.
Out in STL took over the Riverfront Times for this month’s pride issue. See more of the takeover below:
See also: A look at the ongoing fight for LGBTQ right in Missouri.
See also: Oklahoma City’s District hotel is a queer-friendly travel destination unlike any other
See also: Barry Falke is changing Missouri’s Red Cross for the better
See also: Gabe Montesanti and Rocky St. Moore bonded over drag
See also: A Guide to Pride in St. Louis
